In California, the supreme court has declared same-sex marriage legal. But there is a constitutional amendment on the ballot in November that would overrule the court. The focus of church today was to defeat this ballot measure (thereby keeping the court's ruling of legal same-sex marriage in effect). It got me to thinking of the benefits marriage has had in my life, and how that has changed my interactions with others in the world.
RAP and I had a "committed relationship" for 3+ years prior to marriage, and cohabitated for most of that. Marriage was fundamentally a decision between the two of us to elevate beyond committed cohabitation, but also a public recognition of our relationship, and a sacred vow. We wanted our friends and families to engage in a ritual that would bind us. I feel the witnesses of that ritual can forever be called upon to support our union. And RAP and I promised to act in a manner befitting that support. Furthermore, we promised to God that we would care for each other first and always. Every action of mine, I know I need to hold true to this vow or I will not be able to answer that I lived righteously.
The benefits to my life are of course great, but what's interesting to me today is the benefits to society. To boil it down, I have become more responsible and productive because I am married. Marriage has proven benefits to any children that result, of course - and that is to the benefit of all. But I now also see that my relationship as an adult to society is a better one where I produce more and burden less.
Beyond the economics, pre-marriage I think I largely projected my selfishness on everyone else in the world, assuming that everyone was taking care of themselves and that's all. Now, reports have it that I'm nicer and more respectful to strangers and acquaintances.
I encourage anyone that is ready and has found a good partner to undertake this step, knowing it will benefit ME if they transform themselves similarly to how I have been transformed.
2 comments:
From one who has been married more than once, I can easily agree that marriage has the ability to enrich us in a way that nothing else can. First, you need the right partner, then you need a committed, intentional, and conscious relationship that is put above all else. It's hard work--especially over time after the glow of the first few years and after hundreds of diaper changes-- but it takes us out of ourselves and into the world of other. The me becomes we. With the lucky ones, love deepens over time.
Becoming a parent is a whole other level of love and commitment that jolts you into a new consciousness the first time you hold your newborn.
Your concluding reason to encourage others to marry is kind of ironic/circular! :)
Just found your blog via your recent prediction market work. Still chewing on that. Great work! I hope you're making a killing on intrade.
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